How to Never Leave Yourself Wondering "What If"

There’s one event from my entire CrossFit career that still lives rent free in my head, and it was the final event of the 2012 CrossFit Games.

I was in striking distance of the podium. Kyle Kasperbauer was in third, and making the podium was a big deal to me.

The workout was Fran, and right away he went out with a lead. I was trying to stay in it, trying to keep pace, but I could feel him pulling away. Then in the round of 15s, I realized the band had been broken.

And if I’m being honest, that’s the moment this whole thing still comes back to.

I started to give up.

Not completely. I kept moving. I finished the workout. But I didn’t fight the way I should have. Somewhere in my head, I decided the podium was his.

That’s the part that bothers me.

Because I didn’t just miss the podium. I ended up falling to fifth because of how poorly I performed in that final event.

To this day, that is the only event I can point to and honestly say I did not give it my all. Out of everything I’ve done in competition, that’s the one that sticks with me the most.

Not because I lost, but because I left something on the table.

And that’s really the point.

Whatever you’re doing right now, whether it’s jiu jitsu, your career, your marriage, being a dad, or anything else that matters to you, give it everything you’ve got.

Leave no doubt.

No chips on the table. No wondering later if you could have pushed harder. Because when you do hold back, even a little, you carry that with you.

You carry the question.

What if I had pushed harder?
What if I didn’t let off?

That’s a hard thing to sit with.

Give it your all and leave no doubt.

Keep training hard.

- Jason Khalipa